The proper way to rob a bank

Read Time54Seconds

By Ralph Griffith

So, this white guy walks into a bank and up to the teller. He has a black wooden dummy looking like James Brown. It is a good size dummy like the ventriloquist used in the old days.

The teller looks confused and says, “Can I help you?” The dummy goes, “Yo bitch, this is a stick up!” James Brown’s head swivels around–you know like those wooden dummies do.

The teller looks at the white guy with an expression like what the hell? The guy says, “Please do what he says, the guy’s a psycho.” So the teller starts stacking money on the counter. The James Brown dummy looks around then down at the growing pile of money on the counter. He then says to the teller, “Yo, don’t forget the mutha-fuckin travelerschecks or the white boy gets it!”

Then James Brown looks around, then down at the pile of money and says to the white guy, “Put the fuckin money in the bag and lets roll!”

Check out Ralph Griffith’s book, Monkey House:

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