10. Make people watch you meditate.
People think that if you meditate that you’re woke or smart or a genius for some reason. When it really just clears your head. So if you’re stupid and want people to think you’re smart post pictures of you meditating.
9. Tell people that you do yoga.
What do people think is even more woke than pretending to meditate? Pretending to do yoga. Yeah, it’s from the Eastern Hemisphere and is super trendy. People will love you and consider you a person with intelligence and value.
8. Tell people that you’re vegan.
People fucking love talking about being vegan which just means they eat a vegan diet. No meat, cheese, etc. The worst part, is that they’re probably right. That might be better for you. But just talk about begin vegan even if you’re not. People will think you’re smart and cool.
7. Pretend to be gay.
People love gay people, now that it’s legal to get married. Don’t just let only corporations exploit the LGBT market. Pretend to be gay. Make it about yourself. Say you’re “coming out”. People will fucking love you and think you’re smart/trendy.
6. Walk your dog in public places.
Don’t have friends? Kind of suck as a person? Fuck it. Get a cute dog. It will make up for your complete lack of personality. Walk it in public places, make small talk, move on. Soon everyone will think you’re smart.
5. Complain about the economy.
If not the economy, some other vague, strong sounding word. People will clap.
4. Complain about the President.
Don’t know shit? It’s ok. You can just act smart by saying “The President is dumb”. Some people have made careers from only doing this instead of being an actual artist or talented or having something to bring to the table. If you live in a major city, people will high five your hand off. You will have so many Instagram followers.
3. Read List Articles
Hey, at least you read something!
2. Read The Saint Louis Times in public.
People will think you’re cultured. For sure. Trust me.
#1. Take photos in front of chalkboards and make them your profile photo on every app you use.